At the Hanson house we have had a pretty rough week. Abigail is once again in a highly focused stage of figuring out what she can get away with; where her control ends and ours begins. I know that it will pass, that it will come again, and that it is good for her development, but that fact doesn't make it easier in the process.
This time around she is connecting me with the discipline more directly too. I can see in her eyes that she doesn't like that I'm not letting her get her way and it has come out a couple times as her saying, without the least bit of defiance (though we have that in plenty other times), "I don't like Mommy." Trying to not let my heart break, I start to talk with her about her feelings. Both times she has immediately said, "I love mommy." I'm not sure what is going on with that, if she changed her mind or what. I try to explain to her why we discipline her for disobedience- that it will help her grow up to be a woman who can obey her Lord (on His terms); that she is fun to be around when she is obedient and joyful. Life is so much easier and funner with children who are obedient and respect their parents. It is sooo worth it to go through these very hard times to have a majority of wonderful times!
Always after a period of me being loving but firm (thank you Lord, for stepping in and helping me to be loving, even when I feel empty), and Abigail being mad and upset, we will come to a point where she will obey and, besides that, be very happy and joyful about it. There are times too where I don't catch what is going on, even though it is there in front of me, happening with me, and she continues on in a wretched manner, not happy at all. For some strange reason I can't see what I need to be doing in that situation and I'm not happy either. I have read a book in which the author quipped, "Why don't you make them happy and spank them?" (This is backed up by a lot of qualifications for when and how you should spank) It is amazing what a loving, properly handled spanking or other discipline can do for a child to make them happy!
Once during the week immediately after a small trial Abigail said to me, "You know what?" "What," I said. "Jesus loves you," she replied. "He loves you too, Abigail."
Every time I think about discipline and disobedience I always end up in the same spot- thinking about me and my relationship with Christ. It is amazing, the innumerable comparisons between a parent-child relationship and the God-child relationship.
"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
Hebrews 12:11
1 comment:
Wow! This morning I was reading in Proverbs 20 a verse I memorized as a child "Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright." I prayed this for all the grands and also gave praise and thanks to God for all you are doing to encourage that.
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